- mamasmadhouse
Loving yourself doesn't make you a snob!
To he honest, i’m quite embarrassed by this and feel a little silly. But i promised myself and all my followers that i would be totally honest in my posts and show you the real me and real motherhood , my unfiltered imperfect journey.
I’ve always struggled with self-love, and i have quite a low self esteem. I had never even heard of the term ‘love yourself first.’ I thought loving yourself meant you were a bigheaded snob or bitchy, and you think that you’re better than everyone else. I didn’t think it meant something positive.
The first person who said those words to me and taught me what they meant was my partner. Thats like his motto. He was shocked that i didn’t know what it meant, and had never heard of it before. Even more shocked that i thought it was a bad thing! When i think about it now, i feel like at the age of 23, and being a mother, I should have known those words and i should have been loving myself. I also think that it is something that i should have been taught by my mother.
I have to thank Omar for drilling those words into me, because now i know that if you love yourself, It doesn’t mean that you think you are the sexiest thing on earth, or you feel like you are above everyone. That’s arrogance and vanity. Self love is not the same thing!
Its saying no when you want to say no, not feeling like you must say yes to please somebody else. Its eating well, taking care of yourself. Its reminding yourself that you are your own kind of beautiful, regardless of what anybody else may say. Its wearing your hair the way YOU want to because YOU like it. Its finally throwing out those tatty shoes with the holes in that you’ve hanging on to for years because ‘they’ll do’ and actually treating yourself to a new pair, because you realised that you know what? You deserve them! You deserve something new, you deserve to look your best and feel good about yourself and you deserve to put yourself first once in a while!
If your anything like me, you probably struggle with mum guilt or feel like every penny you spend must be spent on the kids, so you neglect yourself. Im terrible for this, I will put back something that costs a tenner for myself , but fill my trolley with £50 of stuff for the kids, my partner, family members or friends no problem! My partner hates when i do this he is forever saying “what did you get for yourself, why don’t you treat yourself. You’ve put everyone else before yourself” I love treating others , i love treating the kids and seeing their little faces light up, so why don’t i love treating myself? It’s because i wasn’t loving myself as i should. I’ve started to get myself little treats here and there, even on the grocery shop i’ve started to pick up things that I fancy and actually putting it in the trolly thinking “those are for me, i like them” and damn it feels good! I’ve sat and looked at myself and i used to scrutinise every flaw that i have, but now I’m learning to understand that i may not be perfect, but i am loved, he loves me, my kids love me just as I am. They don’t love me any less because I have stretch marks or because I don’t have perfect straight teeth. They don’t love me any less because I’m not a genius and know the answers to everything. They love me because i am me. They love me and just as beyonce said ; flaws and all!
So mamas, buy that dress you keep looking at but leaving in the store everytime you go to town , when you go back and its sold out trust me you will regret it, and be miserable about it! Trust me ive done it enough times to know!
Stop staring at your stretch marks in disgust, stop comparing yourself to the instagram models and the magazine models. Stop thinking you are a bad mum because when the kids have gone to sleep your not slaving away cleaning and taking a nice hot bath and enjoying your favourite chocolate treats instead. Just stop it. Now i know its easier said than done because even though I’m not as bad now, i AM STILL learning to love myself and I still have a way to go . So learn to love yourself, It doesn’t make you a bitch. 😊
Ashleigh xxx